Spring!

Ahhh...the smells of spring delight me so...

recently I was walking the streets of a new neighborhood. New sights and sounds and oh the smells..the scents of the Jasmine and Lilac were overwhelming.  We could smell them everywhere we went.  The simple joy this brought me reminded me of why we endure the long winters.  The rebirth of life is ever sweeter the longer we wait for it.  This story that we witness over and over  through the seasons never gets old for me.  Perhaps as I get older my memory softens with age so I can replay this tape without it getting stale:) but I like to think no matter our age we still need the reminder that as we endure our darkest times the light eventually shines through. We trudge through days of cold and gray which feel never ending 'til eventually the burden lifts to reveal a fresh, flower filled oasis. Warm sun on our skin, bright colors to behold and the scents of spring that force us to witness the beauty in the small things.  This day the smells literally stopped us in our tracks so we could burrow our noses deep into the flowers reaching out to us and inhale the nectar of life.

Little moments of Joy

Although it was February, It felt like summer.  A warm day, walking down the street just back from the beach.  We had turned the corner on to our street. Still fairly new to the neighborhood, my girls and I were commenting on the houses two blocks down from ours as we passed by.  Which house we liked and why.  As we passed the yellow single story house that I admire every time I drive by it, a healthy happy cat pranced over to greet us.  The friendliest cat I have ever seen. He moved towards our hands in anticipation of our every caress.  A neighbor walked by and said, "that's Bob he's lived here a long time." Bob... the tuxedo cat who ate too many treats.  What a name. It made me smile just saying it. As my daughter pointed out, 'his name is so unoriginal that it is original, right?"  I couldn't have said it any better.  We sat for a while with Bob wishing we could take him home.  Especially after we found out that his owners had left him with no one in particular.  They just left Bob.  The new home owners feed him as do the other surrounding neighbors and he has claimed his territory and a new family.  He has his people and after spending a few minutes with him I could see why.  He was just one of those cats who you fall in love with because he spreads his love unconditionally.  We started to make our way home and Bob followed us down the street.  "Bye Bob!"  We all cried out to him.  Each of us secretly wishing he would follow us all the way home.

An unexpected miracle...

It has been unseasonably cold in San Diego. It was a little unexpected and it took us off guard for what was to come.  My oldest daughter's hamster basically got so cold that Sunday morning when her little sister went to check on her she said "Chile is cold and stiff and not waking up!"  I was standing at the kitchen sink and my heart sank. She was a horrible sight.  I took her in my hands and shielded her from view by holding her to my body. Sweet Chile.  We all held a special place in our heart for her.  You can imagine the morning we had with tears and discussions that it was no ones fault, it was simply her time to go.  My husband and I sat crossed legged with our daughters in a circle of support and discussion.  We put Chile in a fuzzy sock per Madeline's request and I placed her on top of the fridge so she was out of the way and the girls couldn't see her.  Later that afternoon my daughter wanted to hold Chile and we held her and rocked on the swing in our backyard.  She said, and it still breaks my heart, "Chile was everything to me she was my best friend. Why does God hate me?!"  I replied God doesn't hate you, he doesn't have anything to do with this. I was holding Chile at this point and as I uttered those words, Chile moved....a quick movement like she was taking a breathe.  Then she did it again.  I was thinking maybe this is rigor mortises but I was feeling confused and a little "freaked." I took her to my husband and told him what happened and he started moving her around to see if she would respond and she did-her whiskers twitched and she responded to his touch, sometimes.  He then researched online that hamsters can go into a state of hibernation if they get too cold and it takes them at least a day to come out of it.  It was a long day of waiting and wondering.  You should have seen the two of us huddled together over that hamster like she was the only thing that mattered in the world.  At that time, she was all that we cared about. My husband held Chile on his belly in the sun and he was like a gentle giant embracing this little creature, nursing her back to health -I called him the hamster whisperer.  The girls eventually got in on the process and we all just held her and fed her water through a dropper and watched her slowly come back to life.  Steve said something along the lines of " this is symbolic of how it is never too late for second chances."  Our little resurrected hamster gave us all a big lesson and I believe once again it is God's graceful and unique way of telling us that he does have something to do with...EVERYTHING!

Christmas.....Hurry We Are Half Way There

I just finished reading Laura Munson's blog on Huff Post titled "Oh Holy Night."http://huff.to/VDtbUk My first thought was one of ....relief?  Yep. For all of her cynicism, I found Laura's column refreshing. The type of refreshing I would equate to the first breath of cold evening air after sitting in a muggy over crowded auditorium for the school holiday program. Although her article may be construed as depressing, I openly admit to agreeing and nodding to many of Laura's sentiments.  Alas, I must also be an "embittered middle aged woman."   By December 1st I am feeling a little panicked as many people have purchased their Christmas tree, decorated their house and their Christmas cards are in the mail (I know because I'm starting to receive them.)  Christmas is forced upon us.  It's the age of consumerism with the media acting as manic cheerleaders urging us to buy, get, do.  Not to mention the underlying tone of competitiveness that is deeply rooted in our society.  "Does the neighbor have their lights on outside already!"

If you rebel and wait and take your time, determined to not rush like everyone else, then beware. Before you know it you are half way there.  It's December 13th and quite honestly, I have no idea how we got here so quickly.  It can be overwhelming and feel empty while we rush around trying to feel the spirit of Christmas.  I get it and I hear you. Thank you for pointing out what many probably feel but won't say or maybe they don't know how to put it into words.

Here's my flip side to all of this.  It's up to us to find our own pace and peace.  I firmly believe that God works in mysterious ways. So sometimes we just have to wait it out. Slow down. Change things up and    see what happens. No one can force us to feel spiritual and I think that is Laura's point.  So how do we get there?  There is nothing wrong with slowing down and doing things differently.  Last year, I sent out an electronic Christmas card. I know most of my friends were thinking "slacker!" but I just didn't care.  We had just made a difficult move to California and I didn't have it in me to do the Christmas card thing.  Yep. I took the easy way out and figured going green and saving some paper along the way was the right thing for me to do. It brought peace to my life and that felt good.  One thing at a time. I like that last sentence that Laura writes "and I'll believe in it for now."  I hope so because it is supposed to be about faith and hope and love.  Sometimes we get burnt out and all we can do is hold onto that belief and wait it out. I am seeing that Christmas is taking on an entirely new meaning for me as I get older.  All of the external feel good parts of Christmas don't hold the same meaning as they used to and perhaps they are not supposed to.  We go through the motions sometimes just for our kids sake because it is still magical for them.  What happens when the kids stop believing in Santa and they let go of some of the magic that they have clung to for so many years?  That does make a mother hurt.  The traditions we treasure like decorating the tree are still enjoyable but sometimes it just feels like our actions are empty. The sacred part of Christmas is an internal, personal experience, our yearning for that feeling means we need to take some time to contemplate the true meaning of Christmas-reflecting on our faith, Christ and what it means to us.  The holy moments typically come in and through the people who we cherish, our family and close friends. And sometimes we experience holy moments through a complete stranger-in their actions or words.  I believe these moments are even more magical and sacred because we see that God is acting through all of us, even people we don't know.  We can't force these moments to happen but inevitably they show up and when they do, it is refreshing, sort of like a breath of fresh air:-)

The Trick:

To look and See.

To Listen and Hear.

To read and Understand.

Then.....

To do and Apply

with Love and Vigor and

SUCCEED.

Are You in Your Comfort Zone?

I heard something yesterday that I hope stays with me for the rest of my life.  "We hope for comfort in our future but we need to be ready for discomfort today."    Words of wisdom often strike us when we are least expecting them. Usually, for me, I "half-way" hear important words and then they are forgotten as my mind races through my to do list of chores, bills, shopping, appointments etc. (I also happen to have a memory comparable to a sieve..I blame it on giving birth..a favorite scape goat of mine:-))

These words were different.  I was present, hearing them and I mulled the words over and repeated them to myself to make sure I had it right.   I am sure life circumstances have a lot to do with what we do with these words.  Our upbringing, role models, education, fortunes or misfortunes all play into how we handle discomfort.  So the answer to this next question really depends on the person.  How long do we go through life just trying to stay in our cozy comfort zone?  A comfort zone of just worrying about me, what I want, what's best for me?  Well, for me, that comfort zone certainly changed with marriage and then with kids you realize your life is all about...your kids.  After time you realize you need to find a balance and take some time for yourself once in a while in order to be the best mother, wife, person you can be.  Even in giving of yourself for your family are we really out of our comfort zone?  How often are we ready for real discomfort?  Especially in these busy and difficult times.  Are we doing things we normally wouldn't do to go out of our way to help others? Are we accepting the difficult things that happen to us openly and with full responsibility?  Discomfort can be a very scary, fearful place. (That's right I am not talking about the pebble in your shoe when you are running!)  Hardships can hit us and blind side us to the point of rendering us useless. They can keep us down for a long time. When do we get back up, dust ourselves off and say "okay I accept this and I am going to change what I have control over and move on..."  I naively used to think I was ready for anything because I hadn't really experienced any significant hardship.  I see many people dealing with real hardships: death, disability, sickness and I wonder how do they do it?  They are smiling through the sorrow and still doing so much while carrying their burden with dignity and pride.  These are the people who I see as walking angels.  Sometimes they don't even realize how much they are helping others...but they are helping willingly, unconditionally.  Other times it is a hardship to them to help others but they do it and they don't complain.  They oblige faithfully.  What I have found recently is that Faith and simply accepting what is, is at the bottom of all of this mystery of how people handle discomfort in their lives.  They believe, whether it be God, the Universe, Karma or just believing in themselves.  They believe and know that it will all work out.  It will all be okay.  They are not afraid and even if they are, they look fear in the eye and say "right then, so what do you have for me today?  I will take it on whatever it is...I accept it."

Sometimes we need an angel in our life to help us through hardships. These angels walk us through what it means to accept life. To take what life has given us, use our mind and everything we have to turn it around in order to improve our situation. We can always improve our situation even if we have no control over it: our attitude alone is a powerful tool in turning our life around.  The trick to witnessing an angel is that we have to be ready to SEE them.  We have to stop sleep walking through life and say "I am ready.  I am not even sure what I am ready for but I am ready to take it on..just show me the way." I don't mean "I think I am ready.  You really have to be ready to get out of your comfort zone. You know you are ready when you have pulled every excuse you can think of to stay in your comfort zone but you are not happy being comfortable anymore.  You have to give up the pity party, the whining, the addiction or whatever it is that keeps you in that comfort zone.  It feels a little like taking a step into an abyss but it's such an amazing experience to see what happens once you find the courage to take that first step.  Caution.  You just might find an angel or two or even three (if you are really lucky) and they will push you further into that Discomfort Zone.  You soon find out that this zone isn't such a bad place to be.  It is actually something you might end up embracing because you start to see how much you grow and change for the better.  You know you are heading in the right direction when you start to feel better even though your circumstances haven't changed.  Next is the real secret.  Now that you are feeling better, your positive energy and thoughts start making the circumstances change to your advantage!  You become stronger and wiser as you leave the grips of the Comfort Zone. So I ask you today, if you are in a bad place or you are unhappy with what life has given you, are you ready to change it?  Are you ready to feel uncomfortable?  As soon as you are, take one step and then another and who knows, some day you just might be an angel to someone else who needs a nudge in the right direction.

My Haiku

Today I'm keeping it simple. I'm speaking of my writing. Using less words that mean nothing and more words with expression. Sometimes one word can replace a thousand. I'm going with the creative writing tip I tweeted earlier "write your 250 words in one sentence" so I'm trying it out. My Haiku, if you will.

Let's see how I do.

Empty garden.. eternal kingdom among the trees

You don't want to know how long it took me to write that:-)

Have a GREAT day